Build the Bond

What does the bond you can have with a horse feel like?

Carl sits with hank

The feeling is an energetic exchange  circulating between you and your horse.  In this bond there is a softness and warmth to the energy.  You feel at peace. There is an ease and mutual understanding.

When you find yourself in this bond your horse will follow you as though connected on an invisible string.  Your horse will understand what you want, sometimes even without gestures.  If you do gesture, your horse will understand you without confusion.

Your horse will leave their food and friends to be with you.  Even a horse that is known for herd bound behaviour will easily walk away from his herd mates when you are in this bond.  A timid horse may seem sure of herself and a bold horse may soften and take direction easily.

How long will it take?

A bond is a connection between two beings and you are constantly building or destroying this bond in every interaction you have.  You are two unique beings that show up differently for each other in different moments.  On one day you may find yourself slipping into this lovely energy almost immediately and on other days your horse may not be interested in you.  You may also spend a lot of time in the in-between phase where you both are on the same page, but the energy doesn’t necessarily feel magical.  You will find it’s different with each horse as well.  It may take minutes or it could take months to experience this bond.

What activities can you do to build this friendship?

  • Spend time hanging out with your horse and do a passive activity.  You can read or journal or sketch or knit or anything you can think of that is very sedentary.  I journal.
  • Wander around your horse’s space and investigate the space with genuine interest
  • Do things your horse likes to do like dig in the dirt, pull weeds, stare at the traffic etc
  • Occasionally push your horse off of a location.  You can watch my video for how to do this
  • Put new objects out and play with them on your own
  • Scratch or groom or massage your horse if he likes it
  • If you approach your horse make sure you back off or go another direction if he leans or looks away from you

Eventually your horse will join you in your activities.  It’s only a matter of time.  It’s important not to demand your horse join you or stay with you.  You must let go of your attachment to this outcome.

When your horse does join you just go with the flow and try not to get overexcited and start DOING things.  Chill out.  Over time you can start making requests but initially during the building of the bond you need to just let it happen and let go.

carla companion walks

As your relationship deepens your horse will spend more time with you and will start walking with you and responding to your requests and gestures.  If your horse starts moving away from you then stop or walk away.  Often your horse will come back once he realizes you aren’t following him.  If you want to engage in energetic activities like trotting together or jumping side by side you need to elevate your own energy.  It’s also easier if you wait until your horse’s energy is elevated too and the bond is strong enough that he will want to engage in more exciting things with you.

How should you behave and feel to attract your horse?

  • Be calm
  • Be present
  • Release your expectations
  • Be flexible
  • Follow your intuition
  • Respect your horse
  • Declare a boundary around yourself if your horse gets pushy or overexcited

Who you are and how you feel in each moment is really what your horse is drawn to.  It’s not actually what you do that matters the most.  It’s the energy you have inside you that your horse will respond most powerfully too.  Gaining self awareness and cultivating your inner being is the best thing you can do to have a meaningful relationship with your horse.  This can be frustrating to learn because this is an intangible thing, but your horse will know when you’ve got it.  You will too because you will feel better and that’s the greatest gift you can give to yourself, your horse and the others around you.